Masters of Gilligan

Bittersweet Symphony

Well kids, Friday was my last day at my job.  No I wasn't laid off, although I wanted to be, it was the end of my two week's notice.  So after 12 years and 4 months at the same job which included 3 takeovers, too many reorgs to count, many friends lost to said reorgs and takeovers, I found a new opportunity.  At one point, there were 13 contracts people.  Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.  I was the sole survivor.  Where's my money??!!?? 

I am looking forward to this new adventure, it's still in the world of contracts which is OH-SO glamorous, but for the first time I will be the boss.  Never mind that the department will consist of just me for now, it's the opportunity to start a department from scratch and I can't wait.   So for those that didn't think I was "a straight-shooter with upper management written all over me", I guess I showed you.   Karma's a bitch.

Digging In The Dirt

Judging by the startled look on Dr. Jeff's face, and the look of grim determination on Mary's, I'd say she's just suddenly and unexpectedly "taken him to the Bum Boat" if you know what I'm saying.

Speaking of getting dirty at The Bum Boat...

So true, Mary!  As Aldo found out, your love is a rose...

...but you'd better not pick it.  Or else.

Update:  A while back, I got way behind in reading the comments in The Comics Curmudgeon and never quite caught up.  A co-worker pointed me to this timeless discussion of Mary Worth's naughty bits -- which contains so many awesome comments that your head may explode from all of the awesomeness.  Exercise extreme caution, especially if you're squeamish about things like really old people's naughty bits. 

   

Fire in the Belly

We took the kids to a little street festival over the weekend.  One of the highlights was a big inflatable obstacle course/race -- like a moonwalk but with the added attraction of a climbing wall and various other hazards.

After winning his first race, against a tiny girl about half his age, and subsquently losing twice against boys who appeared to be slightly older, Adam looked up at me with a tear in his eye and uttered the following, which I think is good advice for us all....

"I only like to run against little girls.  They're easier to beat."

I liked the quote so much I decided to make it into a motivational poster (another idea blatantly ripped off from T&A).  Enjoy.

Some Weekend Suggestions

No plans for the weekend?  Here are a couple of suggestions for my Pittsburgh brothers and sisters.  The rest of you are on your own.

The Wonder Bread Years at City Theatre.  Julie and I are taking in the 5:30 performance on Saturday -- courtesy of the City Theatre itself, which generously offered free tickets to bloggers.  Looks like the show runs at least through August, so check it out.  Especially if you're anywhere near my age (that's 45, oy!), since the subject matter deals with stuff from my (our) childhood.  I'll post some thoughts on the performance next week.

Also, I'm far from being a car buff or a race fan, but I've always enjoyed the Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix.  Take a lawn chair and a picnic lunch and enjoy one of the coolest free events this city has to offer.  Also, take some time to walk around the golf course, which will be filled with hundreds and hundreds of really, really cool vintage cars.

Finally, I can't help thinking that if there was a third panel to yesterday's Mare...

 
...we'd see her ripping off her face and telling Dr. Jeff "Good. Now kneel before Zod." 

Some Random Blather

Hooray!  Bullet-list time!

• I got a nice close-up view of our new casino parking garage yesterday.  For those of you who were concerned that we might end up with something aesthetically pleasing over there, rest assured -- it's a hideous piece of crap.  As you might expect, the best analysis of the whole situation is delivered up by Tunesmith and Anthony.  I, too, lament the loss of the native grasses.
• Hey James Blunt -- Al Stewart called, and he wants his vocal delivery back.  At least the Pet Shop Boys had the courtesy to ask before borrowing it.
• Has any band ever made as prodigious a leap over the shark as Chicago?  Jefferson Airplane>>Jefferson Starship>>Starship maybe, but I tend to think of those as three different (and progressively crappier) entities.  Don't get me wrong -- Chicago made a boatload of cash from those sappy mid-80's ballads, so God bless 'em.  I'd sell out too if only I had something worth selling.  But from THIS to THIS?   Oy.
• If you put a gun to my head and made me pick my five favorite Stones songs, I'd probably go with (in no particular order) Tumbling Dice, Happy, Torn & Frayed, Before They Make Me Run, and Gimme Shelter. Now take the gun away from my head, man!
• Where is the other Master of Gilligan?  Good question!  I sent him an email, asking much the same question -- when he responds, I'll post an update.
• "Bob," you ask, "By any chance, might a co-worker of yours possibly be selling a black bird sculpture?  Why yes, lucky reader, today is your lucky day.  All of this can be yours for the low, low price of $30:
  
• "Bob, is today's Mary Worth the most disgusting thing you've seen this week?" you ask.  Well, most weeks I'd have to say yes -- but remember, this IS the week I saw our new casino garage and the bird sculpture.  But at least Dr. Jeff's transformation into the Capon of Charterstone is finally complete, and Mary can turn her attention towards getting Wilbur Weston to voluntarily chop off a limb.
• About once a year, I hear the siren song of KFC.  Something in my head says, "Ok, Bob, ignore how disgusting it was the last 20 times you've eaten it.  THIS time it's going to be like you remember.  Juicy, tasty and delicious."  Last night was my annual visit to The Colonel, and let me tell you, that was as close as I've ever come to throwing up a non-botulised meal.  Not quite as bad as Joe's experience with the Layers of Flavor from the KFC Famous Bowl, but close 
  

UPDATE:
Quick, everyone panic!  Porky Chedwick will be pushing his platters on down to Florida -- permanently!  Once again, our fair region's brain drain results in the loss of one of the youngest members of Pittsburgh's Creative Class.  Where's Borderguard Bob when you need him?

Porky Chedwick, 90, one of the youngest members
of Pittsburgh's Creative Class, muses on the
circumstances that forced him to seek gainful
employment outside of the region.  

The Hooterville Steelers

Anybody else concerned that Sam Drucker is in negotiations to buy the Steelers?

Frankly, between running his General Store, serving as the Hooterville Postmaster, editor and publisher of the Hooterville World-Guardian, town constable, volunteer fireman and bank owner, I'm not sure how he'll find the time to run the Steelers.  Perhaps he'll delegate some authority to Arnold Ziffel.

In other news, Frank Cady (92) is still alive.

Back from Vacation

We're back from a week in St. Pete Beach and then over to Orlando to see the mouse. 

Photos?  Oh yes, there are photos.